Be more constructive with your feedback

I was 20 years old, first day as an engineering interning at a chemical plant during college.

Sitting in my mentor's office, talking about what I'd be doing that summer.

The very first thing I said, after we were introduced, was "I handle constructive criticism really well. So, don't be afraid to tell me what I'm doing wrong."

And that kicked off one of the best learning experiences of my life.

Because my mentor took me up on it, delivering sometimes harsh feedback.

But I took it really well and implemented changes.

Which resulted in “Best Intern of the Summer” award.

Not really, but I did get an awesome score for my school-required performance evaluation.

And my mentor offered me a job when I graduated, which I accepted. 

Sure, taking feedback well is a great soft skill that’ll help your career.

But it’ll also help in other areas.

When you are building your online profile which includes your banner, pfp, bio, and content, it’s SUPER important to get feedback early and often.

And it’s not easy. 

It’s tough to have other people rake over your hard work right in front of you.

Brutal even.

But necessary. 

If you’ve been lucky enough to be in this situation, you know that feedback is crucial to improving your personal brand. 

I’ll take that uncomfortable feeling for the improvement erry day.

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Here’s a few tips I’ve learned about taking feedback well:

• While the feedback is happening, listen actively. Pay close attention. Record it if possible. Try to understand the reviewer’s perspective without interrupting.

• Don’t be defensive. It's natural to feel this way, but try to keep an open mind. At the end of the day, the goal is to help you improve.

• If the feedback isn't clear, or worse, not constructive, ask questions. This shows you're engaged and interested in understanding the feedback fully.

• Detach your emotions from the feedback. Focus on the stuff being critiqued, not your personal value. Be poised. Hold the feedback with neutral grace when you receive it.

• Be thankful! It takes effort to give feedback. Thanking the person shows maturity and appreciation for their help. Gratitude always wins.

I’m not saying this isn’t tough. 

It’s easy to meld your personal identity to your work, and negative feedback can feel like a personal attack.

Just know it’s not, if you trust and respect the person.

If the feedback really is not constructive and the person delivering it is coming from a mean-spirited place, take comfort in the fact that it’s probably not about you. They have something else going on. 

And there is probably something you can learn from the encounter in any case.

I always think of this Flight of the Concords scene when I’m in this situation:

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There are also dire consequences if you’re bad at taking feedback:

Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos infamy ignored employees and medical experts when they raised concerns about the accuracy and reliability of the technology. 

After she ignored this feedback, the company collapsed and Holmes was charged with fraud and a prison sentence.

I know you're probably not a deranged psychopath, but don’t let that be you.

If you’re an optimalist, taking feedback is necessary.

You have to see challenges and feedback as opportunities for growth.

Not failure. 

And each time you practice this, your resilience, persistence, and a commitment to continuous improvement get’s a little bit stronger.

Which means you are a whole lot more optimal.

Cheers,

Swanagan